


Accidental Demon

by lordjenjen



Series: DEMON CRAIG [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: An AU where Craig is a demon, Based off R's AU, M/M, Thank you R
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Tweek sells his soul for a cup of coffee to Craig.Just kiddingOne stormy night while trying to do some homework, Tweek manages to summon a demon.All three chapters because I didn't want to wait to post them. Your welcome!Edit: OH SHIT! It's part of a series now! What could that mean!?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to check out my inspiration's art work.  
> http://feromer.tumblr.com/tagged/south-park

Chapter 1

  
  


It was already a rough day. The storm had knocked out power for half of South Park. Tweet Tweak had tried finishing up his project in his family's coffee shop that still had power, but everyone was there, charging their laptops and phones, trying to finish work. Added to his desk had collapsed earlier in the week and the kitchen table had been taken over with some organization project his mother had started, he had no real sitting surface to work. Instead, Tweek took to the floor. He started out in his room, but the sound of the rain hitting the roof was bothersome. He drifted to the dimly lit basement, set up candles around him, and began his essay on the occult.

The school board thought Mr Garrison would be better suited as a high school teacher and he ended up this year as the English writing teacher. Upon entering high school, the teacher started going through different phases. This really didn't surprise the students, but it did affection their writing subject. Currently the aging man was going through a goth phase, thus the occult essays. Tweet, being already paranoid about anything along the lines of paranormal, had tried to get out of writing it.

He was assigned demon summoning.

Tweet took a deep breath. He wasn't sure where Mr Garrison had found the tome currently in his possession, but it was old and creepy as fuck. Half of it was illegible as if the author had trouble writing or it was a language Tweek wasn't familiar with. Parts of it looked as if someone had tried to destroy it, but failed miserably. To top off the creepiness, he was sure those were blood splatters on the book. This assignment had the already twitchy boy on edge.

Tweek took a sip of his coffee, hoping to calm his nerves a bit, and opened the book to the middle. A pentagram like symbol adorned the page. The opposite page held some text he couldn't quite make out. Tweek lit another candle and set it a bit closer to himself.

_ “As stated on the previous page, I have streamlined the summoning of this particular demon _ ,” Tweek began reading out loud. “ _ He is not the most likeable demon and nor does he particularly care for humankind. Nor does he really do much. I’m not even sure why you are wanting to summon him… _ Well that seems kind of rude.” Tweek stated as he grabbed the cup to take another drink.

As the cup reached his lips a clap of thunder shook the whole ground. The boy jumped, spilling some of the liquid on the book.

“JESUS CHRIST!” he yelled. Tweek set down his cup and ran up stairs with the flashlight to grab some paper towels to clean it up. As the boy ran back to the mess, he kicked over the coffee cup.

“Gah! I can’t do anything right! Oh I wish for once something good would happen.”

Tweek dabbed his drink off the book, excited that the book itself didn’t seem to have any damage noticeable by candle light. He tossed the paper towel onto the coffee spill and began cleaning that mess up to the best of his ability in the low light. Once he believed to have gotten it all up, Tweek went back to his homework, moving slightly to avoid what may have been left of the coffee spill.

He grabbed the book and began reading out loud. “ _ After you have placed your summoning circle you summon the demon. No incantation is really needed. You just call forth the demon the same way you would request a friend to come visit. If you have pleased him, or he is bored, he will come forth. If you want to guarantee his presents, I would suggest, something along the lines of: Rise forth demon and bring me your power, heed my words and join me in the realm of mankind and soft furry animal _ s _ , Cr’aigta'ckzir the demon… _ That’s a little weird.” Tweek looked the passage over.

A blue light caught Tweeks attention. The boy slowly turned his head and saw the demon’s summoning circle amongst the candles. He watched wide eyed as the glowing grew brighter until a column of fiery blue filled the circle.

“GAH! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!” Tweek yelled and started backing away, keeping his eyes on the light.

“Is that anyway to speak to me after bringing me to this realm?” A nasally, monotone voice called from the light. The light vanished quickly, blowing out the candles along with it. The sky took that moment to produce a flash of lightning. Tweek caught a terrifying sillouette in what little bit of light made it into the one tiny basement window before everything was engulfed in darkness. The clap of thunder that followed brought the blonde out of his stupor.

“GAH! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!”

With a snap of the demons fingers, all of the candles relit themselves. “You summoned me.”

Tweek twitched. “Hee… I … summoned a demon. AH! I SUMMONED A DEMON! OH GOD!”

“For fucks sake. You don’t need to yell, I’m right here.”

Tweek grabbed his hair and shoved his face between his knees. “I knew this would happen! I always mess things up! How did I summon a fucking demon!” The boy looked up at the demon. “How!?”

“I don’t know you did it.” The demon seemed to shrug as he picked up the book. “The real question is, why?”

“I d-d-don’t know! GAH! It was an accident!”

The demon hummed, “I fucking hate these books. Takes all the fun out of summoning me.” The demon dropped the book and began looking around.

“GAH!”

“You’re a twitchy little thing aren’t you?”

Tweek knew he was twitchy. Tweeks friends and classmates knew he was. But no one pointed it out since Cartman did in the second grade. It would piss the boy off to no end. He beat Cartman to a pummel and no one mentioned it again.

Tweek didn’t care if it was a demon, he didn’t need to say it in such a teasing manner. “You would be too if you somehow accidentally summoned a fucking demon!”

“Twitchy and spunk. I like it.” Tweek wondered how the demon managed to be so monotone and uninterested when he spoke. “So, human, what is your name?”

“W-why should I give you my name!?”

“Because you brought me here. I can just go around calling you Human, I guess. And you shall call me Cr’aigta'ckzir. Or demon. Or master.”

“You can’t stay! What if my parents find out!?”

“I’m not leaving. If you don’t remember why you summoned me, I’ll just do some things I want to do, possibly take your soul, and go back to hell. It’s been a hundred years since I’ve been on earth and I have things to do.” The demon bent over and picked up the papers on the ground.

Tweek began to panic. His parents reaction to a demon could range anywhere from uncaring, to hysterical. He never knew with them. Maybe he could hide him in the basement. No, the next time his mom went to do laundry he would be found, plus it would be harder to sneak him out. He would need to keep the demon in his bedroom. But to get him up there, he would have to sneak him up there without his parent’s being home.

His parents weren’t home now.

“OH GOD! I need to get you out of here.”

“I’m not going out in the rain,” The demon fired back.

“I mean I need to get you into my bedroom before my parents come home! I can’t hide you down here!”

Tweek stood up and grabbed the demon’s hand. He was a little surprised to find it a lot less scale-y and gross than he thought. It almost felt human. Still, the boy pulled the other out of the basement and up through the house. Once safely in his bedroom and door shut, Tweek sat against the door and began panicking again. The rain had slowed down considerably and was just a soft pat on the window.

What was he going to do with a fucking demon. And what was that he had said earlier.

“GAH! You can’t take my soul! My parents already sold it I think! Or always threatening to. Or to sell me.”

The demon’s eyes turned to Tweek. “Nah, you still have it. Your parents are just assholes.”

Tweek let out a sigh of relief.

“You should have summoned me to write this report.”

“GAH! I’m still writing it! But I didn’t want to because I knew something like this would happen. Why does this stuff happen to me!?”

“You’re cursed.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it! I don’t know why I’m even researching this! Mr Garrison only cares if it follows whatever his ideas on the subject are! I can’t write about how I accidentally summoned a demon.”

“Just write about what it takes to summon a high powered demon then.”

“What?”

Tweek felt his notebook hit his head. He looked up at the demon sitting on his bed. The little bit of light coming in put an ominous shadow around him, but he somehow seemed less menacing.

“Take notes. I’m about to give you everything you need for your report.”

Tweek scrambled for a pen off his broken desk before picking up the notebook. Cr’aigta'ckzir rattled off how to summon a high powered demon from the depths of hell, giving detailed information about a few particular demons. The boy recognized a few of the names and felt a little proud. Once the demon was finished, Tweek grabbed his backpack and pulled out his laptop. He let out a sigh of relief when the thing powered on and still had half a battery. He began typing his three page, 12 point, Times New Roman, double spaced report on summoning demons. A few times Tweek reached for his coffee, having forgot he spilled it. He would groan, remembering there was no power to make more, and continue his work.

***

“TWEEK! You need to get up!”

“Five more minutes mom…” Tweek mumbled, pulling his blankets over his head. He felt like he hadn’t slept in ages and he wanted to sleep more. Though it was true. Tweek didn’t usually sleep well at night. Ever since the underpants gnomes made their return, he had begun staying up so he could figure out how they were coming into his house and stop them. He must have been really exhausted to fall asleep.

“You get up now! Your guest is waiting at the table.”

His guest?

Tweek sat up. He recalled the night before and how he accidentally summoning the demon. He threw his covers off himself and was a little confused with finding himself in his pajamas. He hadn’t bothered with them since he was in middle school, instead choosing to sleep in his day clothes or just his underwear. Tweek quickly got dressed, shoved his school stuff into his bag and ran down stairs.

Sure enough, there was an extra person sitting at the kitchen table. Tweek didn’t recognize the person. He was wearing a blue hat, his jet black hair coming out in tuffs beneath it, His intense blue eyes were staring at Tweek, as if looking directly into his soul. Tweek realized he probably was. He had on a blue hoodie and a space shirt Tweek was pretty sure belonged to him. The demon looked really good for being not human. Tweek blushed a little at the thought of finding a demon attractive.

“Tweek,” His father said, holding a cup of coffee. “Why didn’t you tell us you were having a friend over?"

“GAH! I didn’t know! He just kind of showed up!”

“Who is your friend dear?”

Tweek looked back to the demon at the table. His mouth curved slightly upwards as if smiling. The blonde tried to recall his name. C...Cr’aig…

“CRAIG!” He shouted. The demon's slight smile slowly vanished. “He’s an exchange student and will be staying for a while.”

“Oh well that’s nice dear, but could you give a little warning next time?”

“That’s right son. Your mother and I can only afford one child, perhaps we will have to sell you after all.”

“It’s fine Mr and Mrs Tweak. I have my own funds.” Cr’aigta'ckzir stated as Tweek screamed. “Tweek, a word if you don’t mind.”

The demon all but drug Tweek downstairs into the basement.

“Craig?” The demon asked. His voice, even though monotone, somehow seemed mad.

“GAH! I’m sorry! I forgot your name and panicked! Your name sounds too demonic! THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!”

“Fine,” the demon sighed, “You can call me Craig. But you’re taking me to the pet store.”

“I can’t right now! I have school! AH! The book! What am I going to do with you!?”

The only thing Tweek could think of when he saw Craig’s smile was sadistic. “Guess I’m coming to school with you.”

“OH GOD! What am I going to tell the teachers!?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Tweek grabbed the book off the floor and looked at the mess from last night. In the middle of the candles was the paper towel he had used to clean up the coffee from the book. On the paper towel was a perfect mirror image of the demon’s summoning circle. The coffee spill from his cup spilled right into the paper towel. Cr’aigta'ckzir moved right behind Tweek and looked at the mess over his shoulder. A shiver ran down Tweek’s spine. He didn’t remember the demon being that tall a few minutes ago. Nor did his silhouette look human last night.

“Did you read the book before summoning me?”

“No, I opened the book to the page that had the drawing and began there.”

“Well the author streamlined summoning low power demon’s such as myself. Basically you get the page wet and the ink can be transferred to any surface you wish. This prevents you from having to draw it out. Plus we don’t need anything special like unholy chalk, salt, ashes, blood.”

“Oh…” Tweek trailed off. The paper counted as the summoning circle. The coffee was his offering to the demon. The candles provided the fire. He summoned a fucking demon.

“TWEEK! SCHOOL!”

Tweek ran upstairs, book in hand and Craig hot on his heals.

“You’re running late so you have to take the bus,” His mother said as he ran out the door.

Tweek ran the whole way to the bus stop, he realized he hadn’t looked at the time. He pulled out his cellphone and looked. It was only 7:03am. He hated his parents sometimes. Tweek stopped running and walked. Craig followed in step beside him.

“I’ve never been to school before.”

“You’re not missing anything.” Tweek answered unamused.

“You humans always say such things. You get this beautiful world and just take it all for granted.”

Tweek looked curiously at Craig. “You telling me you guys don’t take eternal damnation for granted?”

“No. We enjoy every second of torturing the souls, but hell is nothing like this. Humans are never satisfied with what they have. They always want more. You think the Royal family became royalty because it was God’s will? No. King Alfred the Great sold his soul to a buddy of mine for that.”

“Not all humans are like that.”

“Right, some want justice. But they summon the wrong demon, so once they get what they want they collect on their debit. Some humans also just want donuts”

Tweek stared wide eyed at Craig. “Are you going to kill me?”

The demon looked at Tweek, his blue eyes intently surveying Tweek. “Honestly, I might.”

“OH GOD! I don’t want to die yet!”

“You guys say that too. As if death is so bad. You don’t appreciate what you have here. Don’t appreciate death. What do you want?”

“Me?”

“Yeah you. What do you want out of your human life?”

Tweek didn’t know how to answer. He stopped at the bus stop and turned to the demon. “I don’t know.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “You all want something.”

“I don’t know! This is too much pressure! I’ve never had to think about it! I don’t want to die either!”

“Hey, calm down.” Cr’aigta'ckzir placed a hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “It’s wasn’t like I was going to grant you what you wanted and then kill you. I’m just curious.”

“Sorry. I haven’t had coffee…”

Tweek barely said the words when a cup appeared before him. Craig grabbed it out of the air and held it out for the blonde. “I’m not going to eat your soul for this coffee, you’re safe.”

“Thank you.” Tweek said meekly and took the cup. The first sip and melted on the inside. His parent’s coffee was garbage compared to this cup. It was like the finest roasted beans, brewed at a perfect 205ºF, and served before it had a chance to burn from the warmer. “No wonder people sell their souls for the most ridiculous things. This perfect.”

“Of course, it’s what I do.”

The two stood in silence as Tweek sipped his perfect cup of coffee. Something was nagging Tweek about the demon.

“That’s not how you looked last night.” Tweek stated when his mind remembered.

“No, I figured you would appreciate a human form since I am going to be hanging around a while. Like I said, it’s been 100 years and I have things I want to do. But…”

Craig removed his hat revealing, what Tweek couldn’t help but think as a beautiful set of horns. They ran along side of his head and curled where his ears would be. Even though they were black, they had a blueish sheen to them. Tweek was mesmerized by them and reached out to touch them. He had never touched a horn before, but he didn’t expect it to be warm. Tweek snapped back to reality and pulled back his hand, blushing.

“S-sorry! I don’t know what came over me.”

“Whatever. I can’t do anything about them but wear a hat. It’s like the one downfall. Also why we made hat’s popular. I can show you my real form later if you like.”

Tweek suddenly couldn’t help but be suspicious of anyone that wore a hat, which was nearly everyone in South Park. He nodded his head and turned to the book he had in his hand. He opened the book to the same spot as last night, and turned it back a page. On the right was a drawing of a demon. Tweek recognized the silhouette from last night.

“That drawing does no justice. I am way more badass.”

_ Cr’aigta'ckzir: _

_ Level 7 demon.  _

_ Summoning process has been streamlined. _

Tweek turned the page back and began reading the text from last night

_As stated on the previous page, I have streamlined the summoning of this particular demon._ _He is not the most likeable demon and nor does he particularly care for humankind. Nor does he really do much. I’m not even sure why you are wanting to summon him. He has a tendency to do as he wishes. A lot of demons do, but they stay within a boundary. This demon does not care about you or your wishes. He will fulfill them when he is done with what he came for. Then promptly leave._

_ I have gathered that he has a fondness for very few things. Small cuddly animals and night time. That’s it. If you wish to have your request fulfilled in a timely manner it is suggest you do so at night or have an animal at the ready. A few locals have started taming wild dogs in hopes he will fulfill their request in a timely manner if one is around. Why they don’t just summon a different demon, I don’t know. He is known to take human life right after fulfilling their wishes. _

_ I have only heard of one person taking a liking to the demon. Not much is known of the lad which leads me to believe this information is false. Cr’aigta'ckzir likes no one. _

_ To summon this demon, ready your fire and have your offering ready before proceeding. Wet the next page and stick it to the ground. The image will transfer to the surface of the object, whether it rock, wood, or even dirt. After you have placed your summoning circle you summon the demon. No incantation is really needed. You just call forth the demon the same way you would request a friend to come visit. If you have pleased him, or he is bored, he will come forth. If you want to guarantee his presents, I would suggest, something along the lines of: Rise forth demon and bring me your power, heed my words and join me in the realm of mankind and soft furry animal _ s _ , Cr’aigta'ckzir the demon. _

“For a dead language, you are really good at reading Cumbric.” Craig said, pulling Tweek out of the book.

“I don’t know what that is,” Tweek stated closing the book and putting it in his backpack.

“That book is written in Cumbric. You don’t know what that is?”

“I don’t know! I just got it and that was the first page I could read!”

This information seemed to intrigue the demon. The bus took that moment to pull up and Tweek bored it with Craig in tow. The blonde took an empty seat and the demon sat next to him.

“Cambric is an ancient, dead language.”

“If it’s dead how am I supposed to know it?”

“I don’t know. I’m not questioning it. Why bother?”

Tweek emptied his cup of coffee. He was trying not to stress over this, but it was hard. What would happen when the demon finally got bored and he hadn’t figured out why he summoned him. Would he kill Tweek? Maybe a pet shop would be enough to satisfy the demon and he would go away.

The bus pulled up to the school and Tweek had to force Craig off. The demon wanted to ride it longer. Tweek promised they could later, after school. Upon entering the school, a chill went down Tweek’s spine. He wasn’t sure why until he looked over at Craig. Tweek hoped he was hallucinating the dark aura coming off Craig. The blonde followed the demons sight. He was glaring at Eric Cartman.

“What about him?” Tweek asked.

The aura simmered around Craig to nearly nothing. “That boy is evil. Who was his dad?”

“His mom. His mom is his dad.”

Craig was confused. “Then who was his mom?”

Tweek shrugged. “Who knows. But he is evil. Sometimes I think he could be a Hitler reincarnation.” 

“Reincarnation isn’t real. Sorry to spoil that for you.”

Tweek just shrugged and made his way to the library to print off his report for English Writing. Tweek was a little surprised how inquisitive the demon was. He played it off nonchalantly, but the boy could tell he was really curious about human advancement in the past 100 years. Tweek couldn’t help but laugh when he did the same thing everyone does on Google. He was particularly upset to find he didn’t exist. Once he realized most demon’s couldn’t be easily found online, he was only slightly irritated.

“GAH! How are you going to attend classes!? You aren’t registered here.”

Craig’s mouth turned slightly upwards. “How does one register?”

“I don’t know!”

The demon learned quick. He did a quick google search, found all the information he needed. “Where do you go to sign up for classes?”

“Well I guess the administrative office.”

“Take me there then.”

Tweek did as requested. Once in front of the administration person, Craig touched one finger to her head and told her to enter him into the system. In a very plain and robotic voice she asked questions. Tweek helped supply answers when needed, but for the most part he just kept watch. He was worried about being caught and sentenced to death for summoning a demon and sneaking him into school.

The demon made sure his classes matched Tweek’s before they left the office.

“See, simple. This could be fun. I’ve never done this before.”

“Attended school?”

“Yeah. We just know everything since we lived through it. We don’t have to go to a place to learn things.”

“That must be nice.”

“Makes things kind of dull. You know everything.”

Tweek couldn’t help but think the book had the wrong idea about Cr’aigta'ckzir.

The two entered the first class of the day. Tweek was actually really grateful to get English Writing out of the way. Mr Garrison had an unusual way of making things worse the farther into the day he went. Craig handed the paper to Mr Garrison.

“Great. Another one. Take a seat in the back by Clyde.”

Tweek noticed Craig’s eyes glow a little. “No. I will set next to Tweek Tweak.”

“Fine whatever. Julie move so a man can have your seat. Your education is less important than his.”

The girl seemed pleased at being able to move away from Tweek and sit next to Clyde. Mr Garrison asked for the papers before he went on his nonsense tangent. Tweek was glad to have a bullshit day where the teacher discussed the writing of Buffy the Vampire Slayer rather than make them work, or worse, give them a pop quiz over nothing that was covered. Tweek watched Craig take in all the information. The demon sat there, like any normal student would, yet Tweek knew. He knew that Craig was not of this world. Tweek managed to not freak out in class every time he thought about the fact he summoned a demon.

“Joss Whedon sold his soul to make Buffy a hit,” Craig whispered, “the demon that made that possible decided his next show, even though it would have been his best show, would be canceled. Really, he's the reason Firefly was cancelled. Zak’tar has yet to collect his soul either.”

World History was much more interesting for Tweek. Every time the teacher said anything, Craig would tell him what really happened. He wasn’t really surprised history was so inaccurate. History is written by the winners, but he was surprised how often outside forces were involved, especially in the middle ages with the catholic church taking over Europe. He was also surprised one could summon an angel along with demons.

“You think God sends them? Please. Ever since he sent his “son” to save mankind, which we can tell is going so well, God decided to never meddle again. He still does. Him and Satan will meddle all the time. But yeah, angels are “called upon” instead of summoned.”

“Craig Tucker!” The teacher yelled. “You are new so I am going to let it slide this time! Do not talk in class!”

Craig gave the teacher the finger as she turned her back to the class again. Tweek passed Craig a note.

_ This is how you talk in class. _

Craig rolled his eyes and wrote a reply.

_ Demons can communicate telepathically if needed. Don’t worry I won’t do it to you unless I need to. You seem on edge enough without an extra voice in your head. _

Tweek glared at the paper. How thoughtful of him, but the wording kind of angered the boy.

Geometry was a lot duller. Craig took this opportunity to study Tweek, which made it impossible for the boy to concentrate. He would have to read the book later and hopefully Craig would be able to teach him what he was missing. He engaged in multiple staring contests with the demon, all of which he lost.

Gym was interesting for a lack of a better work. Craig clapped his hands “for dramatic effect” and changed into matching Cows gym clothes, of course keeping on his hat and Jacket. He then turned to leave but spotted another boy walking in.

“Kenny McCormick.” He said.

“What?” the blondes echoed each other. Tweek knew he had no classes with the other boy before this one. Yet the demon knew his name.

Kenny seemed to eye Craig’s get up before turning to Tweek. “Did you summon a demon?”

Tweek’s eyes widened. His secret was out. “How?”

“Demons can’t disguise their horns or wings. Who…” Kenny eyed the demon as he whispered to Tweek, “Who did you summon.”

“Stop it Kenny, you know I can hear you. It’s just me.” Craig stated in his monotone, nasly voice.

Kenny eyed the demon a minute. “Cr’aigta'ckzir! What the hell are you doing on earth.”

“This one accidentally summoned me and I have been bored.”

“You’re always bored.”

“GAH! How do you know each other!?” Tweek shouted. The few boys left in the locker room turned towards the trio. When nothing happened they went back to their own business.

“He comes to hell a lot.”

“They never remember me dieing. Its part of the curse.” Kenny supplied when Tweeks confusion didn’t leave his face. “Don’t worry, I’m use to it by now.” Kenny clapped Tweek on the back. “And a blonde. Knew you had a thing for them.”

Craig’s facial expressions changed just the slightest to a scowl. Tweek almost missed it.

“Can’t wait for whatever chaos and mayhem you bring to our quaint little town. Please don’t kill me. Dieing sucks.”

“I take that into consideration. And the fact you won't stay dead.”

“That’s the spirit.”

The trio left the room, Tweek felt confused as ever. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

“Son, take off your hat. This is gym class.”

“No.”

Coach Hunt was not use to anyone talking back. He did a double take. The boy before him had too much attitude and he was about to correct it. “This isn't up for debate. Take off your hat and your jacket.”

“No.”

“Do you want detention!?”

Craig gave the coach the finger. This was unacceptable! Coach Hunt opened and closed his mouth. He knew there was something that needed to be said but he couldn't figure out what. The blonde spazzy kid walked next to the delinquent boy and suddenly he remembered the punishment.

“50 LAPS AROUND THE TRACK!” He bellowed pointing at Tweek.

“WHAT!? GAH! I-I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! AH! THAT'S LIKE 12 MILES! I CAN'T DO THAT!”

The young delinquent raised his other finger to the coach, but the man seemed unable to do anything. “GO!” He pointed towards a the field. As the boys walked away he felt an awful feeling crawl up his spine. He shook it off and turned back to the rest of the class.

As the coach blew his whistle, he felt his bowels let loose a torrent of shit he didn't know he had. He stood there for a moment, completely still. The children began laughing. This was unacceptable, he demanded control of his class. Just as he was about to blow his whistle, the other coach came over and blew theirs. He's bowels let loose another one. The approaching coach held their nose. And waved him off. One look at the children and he knew this was the end of his career in this school. 

***

Tweek turned to Craig. “W-what did you do?”

Craig just shrugged as they watched the coach make a hasty retreat. “I'm a demon. I did what demons do.”

“That was a curse. And a beautiful one,” Kenny supplied. “How long will it last?”

“Until I leave or remove it.”

Tweek watched Kenny's facial expressions change from bemusement, to serious then back to bemusement. The boy obviously knew something Tweek didn't and he wasn't sure he liked that. However, he was glad he didn't have to run laps anymore. 

At lunch, the blonde sat at the usual table with his friends and his plate of school food. Craig sat next to him eyeing the tray curiously. The others eyed Craig curiously.

“What the hell is that?” Craig asked poking some food on Tweek tray.

“Ah! D-don't touch my food with your dirty hands.”

“You call that food? Peasants ate better than this.”

“I-it's pudding. Why don't you try some.”

“No,” Craig answered and poked Tweeks tray. “Why is that lump of stuff wiggling?”

“It's tofu…” Tweek answered disappointed. The new school cook was vegan and would only cook vegan meals. 

“Where are you from?” Stan asked.

“A place much hotter than here.” Craig answered causing Kenny to snort. “How are you eating that?”

“Kenny is poor as fuck and will eat anything.” Cartman took that opportunity to take a bite of his meatloaf sandwich. 

“Fuck off fatass. If it weren't for me, you'd be the poor kid and you know it. Besides this isn't too bad,” Kenny pointed to the pudding and asparagus. “Just don't eat the tofu.”

Tweek pushed the unappetizing food around on his plate. He could feel Craig’s eyes on him. It had to be his. And everyone else’s. They were watching him. Probably judging why Craig was there. How he even got here. Why he would be hanging out with someone like Tweek. It was only a matter of time before they found out Craig was actually Cr’aigta'ckzir, demon from the depths of hell. Then what? Would they be put into jail? Craig could just go back to hell, but they might keep and study Tweek. Poke his brain on how to summon mythical beings. What if Craig was captured and kept for research?

“Where is your thermos?”

Tweek screamed and twitched before looked up at Kyle. He knew the boy wasn't making fun of him and was genuinely concerned. A Tweek without coffee makes for a very bad day. Other than the one cup this morning, he hadn't had any. Tweek let out a small whine. He could get some after school, but he knew, after Craig's perfect cup, nothing would compare.

“I-I forgot it.”

“Just how much coffee do you drink in a day?” Craig asked.

“Dude he drinks like five ass loads of coffee a day.” Cartman answered with a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

Tweek felt, rather than saw, Craig's anger at being sprayed with food from his mouth. The blonde slightly shook his head, telling Craig no. He didn't calm down any but he also didn't make a move to kill the other.

“Gross, Cartman. Shut the fuck up when you're eating. He drinks a lot of coffee. At least 64oz by the time he leaves school. Dude go sneak into the teachers lounge and steal some from them. You look like shit.”

“GAH! NO WAY MAN! I'll get into trouble if I go in there!”

“HAHA!” Cartman laughed spitting food everywhere. “Tweek is chicken shit.”

“I-I am n-not.” Tweek knew he was getting too worked up. He needed to leave. The boy abruptly stood up, hitting the table and knocking his tray onto himself. “GAH! FUCK!” The blonde covered his face as the pudding slowly slid down his shirt.

Cartman didn't have the decency to hold back his laughter like the others. Tweek took a deep breath trying to not let the snickering from the other boys get to him. It wasn't working. The boy grabbed his bag and began making a hasty retreat. He was done with today. He was going to go home, brew a pot of mediocre coffee and watch for underwear gnomes. Sounded like a great plan to him.

Tweek didn't make it halfway down the hall before Craig grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him into the closest room. He hated that it was a closet. 

“I can fix this if you like.”

“HOW!?” Tweek didn't care he was yelling. “DUDE! THIS ISN'T GOING TO COME OUT! GAH! AND THIS WAS MY LAST GOOD SHIRT! MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO SELL ME OFF FOR REAL THIS TIME! AND IF THEY SELL ME THEN YOU’LL TAKE MY PLACE AND THEY WILL SURELY FIND OUT YOU’RE FROM HELL!”

“No need to yell, dude.” Craig snapped his fingers causing Tweek to yell out. The stain was gone from Tweek’s shirt. Another cup of coffee appeared between them and Craig handed him the cup. “Not taking your soul for this either.”

Tweek calmed a bit when the coffee was placed into his hands. The boy took a drink and melted. Still perfect.

“T-thank you.”

Craig shrugged and patted Tweek on the head. The blonde looked at the demon with confusion. “You seemed like you needed that.”

Tweek just shrugged as he downed the coffee.

Art class was eventful in a way Tweek kind of enjoyed. Craig was not a fan of the teacher, Tweek really didn't blame him. She had graded their previous art projects and he had gotten a C. Average. Tweek knew this was because it wasn't “abstract” enough for her liking. He just couldn't do it. Abstract painting, no matter how much coffee or how sleep deprived he was, never made sense. Craig thought it deserved more. 

“Art is subjective. And this isn't bad. I've seen bad. Leonardo Da Vinci was trash. He had super natural help to paint that good. Remind me to tell you what his journals say.”

Today however, they were working with acrylic paint, but only warm colors. It wouldn't be a very large painting, but they weren't allowed to sketch it out. She wanted them to paint their feelings. 

“As someone with depression, I can't paint my feelings with warm colors,” Stain pointed out. 

“Well, you just need to stop being depressed. Think warm happy thoughts.”

Tweek felt the rage flow off Craig. He placed his hand on top of the demons and slightly shook his head no. Tweek noticed a slight upturn in the demon's lips. It was definitely his evil smile.

As Tweek tried to decide the best way to paint out his feelings, Craig got to work on his miniature masterpiece. The longer he stared at his blank canvas, the more anxious Tweek got. He didn't want to paint his feelings. It was too much pressure and he had so many of them. 

“GAH!” Tweek threw his brush down and began pulling at his hair. “This is stupid! And it's stressing me out.”

“Just paint what you want. She's going to give you a C anyways.” For some reason, Craig's monotone calmed Tweek down a bit.

Tweek picked up his paint brush. Craig had a very good point. It didn't matter what he painted, he was getting an average grade. Tweek dipped his brush in yellow and began painting a square. That was it. A total of thirty seconds were spent actually painting. Tweek turned to view Craig's painting. 

In the short time Tweek had been around Craig, he knew this is exactly how the demon felt. Dead center of the painting was a hand giving the middle finger. Even though it was shades of red, it was incredibly realistic looking. The background was all fire and flames. Tweek felt his painting paled in comparison.

The two placed their art on the drying rack before leaving class, the blonde was kind of excited to see the teacher's reaction. Tweek felt like he was reading the demon wrong, but Craig almost seemed happy to be heading to their next class. The demon took his seat next to Tweek and waited patiently for the teacher to arrive. The mood however quickly changed when Mr Garrison entered the class.

“Alright class. Mr Vandeross was in a car accident so I will be teaching this class today. Now as we know “Contact” was a terrible film and we will be going over every reason why that should have ruined the smug, Mathew McConaughey’s, career.”

“What the hell does this have to do with Astronomy?” Craig asked.

“Well it's about space and junk so everything.”

Tweek wasn't sure how he could tell Craig was mad, the demon’s facial expression never changed, his voice was always the same steady, monotone. Yet Tweek knew he was furious. And considering what he had done to the teacher that barely annoyed him, the blonde was fearful for his teacher. Tweek had to think quick. 

“OH GOD IT HURTS!” Tweek yelled and fell out of his chair. The boy grabbed his right hip and curled in on himself. He knew knew how to make himself cry and make his face red, he just hoped it would be enough.

“Jesus Christ, what's wrong now, Tweek?”

“I-I don't know! It just h-hurts so bad! AH! I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“Just go to the nurse's office.”

“I-I don't think I can, AH! Make it by myself. I need help Craig!”

“Whatever. Craig help him to the nurse’s office then come back.”

Tweek wouldn't let that happen. Craig helped the boy to his feet and helped him out of the class. Once down the hall enough, Tweek stood up straight and took his backpack from the demon. 

“What the hell?” Tweek was a little surprised. Craig seemed genuinely shocked.

“I-I didn't want you to do something to Mr Garrison too. So I faked sick. We can just skip and go to the pet store.”

“You faked appendicitis? You faked being in pain, crying and even gave yourselves a slight fever to get out of class. I am impressed. You had me convinced.”

“T-thank you.”

***

Tweek understood why the summon incantation mentioned cuddly animals. Upon entering the pet store, the demon’s mood seemed to lighten, like it had on the way to Astronomy. The first set of tanks were for small rodents. Craig looked into each one before stopping at the Guinea Pigs. 

“Oh hello, precious. When did you guys get this far north?”

Tweek couldn't help but finds it adorable he talked to the animals like that. The guinea pig let out a few squeals as if replying.

“Neat. Do they still eat you?” The guinea pig squealed it's reply. “Lucky you I guess, to bad for them. You guys are delicious. Oh don't worry that was a few hundred years ago. Genetics probably changed and you won't taste as good. At least not you guys.”

“You use to eat them?” Tweek asked. For whatever reason that's what got to him. Not the talking to animals thing. 

“Yeah, they were domesticated for the purpose, much like the cow. Really delicious. They are only eaten on special occasions. Calling forth me is a special occasion.” Craig picked up the guinea pig he had been talking to and began playing with it. The demon really did enjoy the company of small fuzzy animals. The guinea pig crawled inside Craig's hood and he began looking at other animals.

“Hamsters. Most evil of the rodents. How did they manage to domestic you?” The hamsters inside the cages began squeaking at once. All of them. “Woah! Got it. Hamster power. Good luck on that.”

“Hamsters are evil?” Tweek asked. He didn't see how the small adorable rodents were evil.

“Well, they try to be,” Craig whispered. “But they kind of suck at world domination.”

Tweek thought of Professor Chaos and his terrible attempts with his minions at world domination. “I could see that.”

Only after Craig had seen all the animals did he pull the guinea pig out of his hood.

“Alrighty, I'm going to keep you while I'm here.” 

“Gah! What? You can't keep it! I can't have a pet!”

“It will be fine Tweek. What's your name?” The rodent let out a few squeaks. “No it's not. You're Stripe now. Well maybe you should have thought of that before you called yourself King.” Craig turned to Tweek. “What do you humans get your pets?”

“J-Jesus… you really are going to do this… H-He needs toys. And a cage.” The guinea pig let out a few squeaks. Tweek didn't need to speak it language to know it was complaining. “You're not pooping everywhere and chewing on all my stuff!”

The slightest upturn of Craig’s mouth caused Tweek’s heart to beat a little faster. “You didn’t say you spoke to animals.”

“GAH!” Tweek looked nervously around. “I-I don’t he just…”

“I was joking. I know you humans can’t speak to animals.” Craig turned back to his furry friend. “We are his guest and you will not be shitting all over his things. No, I can’t trust you to just not do it. You already lied to me once.”

Craig looked at the cages and found one that would be plenty big enough along with a ball so Stripe could run around, food, cage supplies, and toys. Tweek as a little surprised by this. He thought Craig would just magic the stuff he needed. 

“I would,” Craig said when Tweek voiced his thoughts, “But there are rules. And I have ulterior motives for buying this.”

“What kind?” Craig never answered, but his evil smile was back. He paid the clerk in money Tweek was sure he didn't have before. The two headed back to Tweek’s house before his parents got home and had a chance to see this stuff.

When they entered Tweek's room, the blonde noticed his desk was fixed and everything was back in it properly. Tweek started freaking out until Craig reassured him it was his doing then magicked a cup of coffee for him. Tweek smiled and took a drink of the coffee before deciding to go do homework. As he did the work he knew Craig was going to ignore as the demon played and talked with his new pet.

Once done, the two talked and played with Stripe. Tweek asked all kinds of questions about what it was like being a demon and his past work on Earth. Craig answered everything thing truthfully and shared some amusing stories.

“What about sleep?”

“I can force myself to, but otherwise demons don't need it.”

“God, I wish I didn't. I can't sleep normally, but my body doesn't really function well without some. And then you add in things like the fucking underwear gnomes coming in at night and that just makes it worse! What if one day they don't stop at just underwear!”

“You slept last night.”

“T-that was a fluke. I don't know how I even slept or for how long.”

“And what's this about gnomes!”

“Oh God! You're going to think I'm crazy too! But there are these tiny gnomes, they come into my room at night and they steal my underpants! GAH! I've tried everything! Even going underwear-less because my parents said they can't afford to buy me more without selling me!” Craig let out a little hum. “Oh God! You think I'm crazy!”

“No, I was just thinking of what the hell they want with underwear.”

“I don't know man! I followed them once and got some bullshit answer about profit. They don't even know!”

Tweek's phone took that moment to ring. The boy screamed a little before answering his parents phone call.

“Tweek son, I know your friend is in town but you still need to come down and work in the shop.”

“OH GOD! THE COFFEE I-I FORGOT!” Tweek hung up. “Jesus Christ! How could I forget the beans? Gah!”

Craig put the guinea pig in his new cage and grabbed Tweek's keys. “Relax, I'm sure everything will be fine. Let's go. I want to see the family business.”

The two left the house and made their way to the coffee shop. Immediately upon entering, Tweek went into the back room and went to work. Tweek could feel the demon's eyes on him as he worked. The air grew heavy as he reached the point where he added his family's secret ingredient.

“Do you know what that is?”

“I-I don't.” Tweek answered honestly.

“Do you drink the coffee?”

“Sometimes. Not usually this stuff because my dad sucks at roasting and making coffee so it always tastes like ass. B-but sometimes I need coffee and this is all there is because I haven't made my own yet.”

“Don't drink it.” Tweek was a little surprised by Craig’s tone. 

“Tweek.” His dad called causing Tweek to yell out. “Your mother and I are leaving you in charge of the shop for the rest of the night.”

“AH! What? Why? Oh God it's too much pressure!”

“You have Craig. It will be fine.”

“Craig!? H-he doesn't work here!”

“Well we have an extra mouth to feed so you're going to have to work to eat now.”

“AH! How will that work? You don't pay me!?”

“Richard, honey, we're going to be late.”

And with that, Tweek's parents left. Tweek let out a scream and started pulling his hair and shaking. The boy felt a hand on his back. Tweek was a little worried how easily Craig could read him and calm him down a bit but was grateful the demon was there to do so.

“Just close the place and call it a day.”

“I-I couldn't do that. This is my family's source of income.” 

Craig just shrugged and followed Tweek up front. Tweek was surprised how easily Craig handled customers and worked technology he hand never encountered before. This left Tweek doing what Tweek did best, coffee. When there was downtime, the two would talk as if they had known each other for years.

When nine rolled around, Tweek closed up the store. Craig stood outside the shop looking up at the night sky as Tweek locked the doors. The storm had passed and the clouds were gone. Tweek understood why he was so excited for Astronomy. Why the book said to summon him at night. Cr’aigta'ckzir liked space and small animals.

“You can't see anything in town.” Tweek stated.

“Can we at your house?”

“We can we some. But we have to leave town to really get a good look. You can find really cool space pictures on the internet.”

Craig hummed in acknowledgement and began heading toward Tweek's house. The blonde followed him. “Let's go then.”

“Tonight? I can't! There's still school tomorrow!”

“Just don't go.”

“Don't go!? Dude! I can't skip! I already skipped today! What if I skip tomorrow and then fail my classes!? I won't be able to graduate. And with no education I can't get a job! If I can't get a job and move out, my parents will sell me for sure! I'll either be sold to slavery or be forced to be homeless!”

“I wouldn't let that happen. Besides it's just one day.”

“I-I can't! Tomorrow is Friday! W-we can leave and go camping after school.”

“Fine.” 

The two walked in silence for a bit. The longer it was quiet, the more Tweek thought he messed up. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to skip just one day. He already skipped astronomy, where Mr Garrison wasn't going to teach anything useful anyways, and his Drama class was just for fun. The demon ruffled Tweek's hair a little.

“You know, you get this look on your face when you begin to overthink things. It's cute, but you should stop.”

“AH! Sorry!” Tweek blushed. He wasn't sure if it was because Craig called him cute or if it was because he got chastised for dwelling on things. Tweek looked up into space, trying to make out constellations. “Do you like the stars?”

“You could say that.” Craig answered.

“Y-you’ve been around a long time. Did you help name any stars?”

The demon was quiet as he thought about the question. Tweek did his best not to over think about the silence. He was failing though.

“Whatever it is, you can just say it.” Craig said. “If you're worried I'm offended, I'm not. I'm just remembering. I helped create them.”

“WHAT!?”

Craig shrugged. “You think God did all of this? No. Angels helped. God just took all the credit. Some angels cared others didn't. I didn't really care but you know how it goes. Pick sides or else. Of course I only get to see my work when I am summoned to Earth. I did help name some. I helped the Mayan's name theirs, but obviously those names didn't stick through the ages.”

“T-that's pretty neat. Do you have a favorite?”

Craig's facial expressions changed for the first time. Even in the dim light he could see the demon smile a genuine smile. “Probably Scorpius. I love what the Greeks did with that one.”

“I-I don't remember that one.”

“The myth is Orion gloated about how great of a hunter he was and he went around killing a lot of animals unnecessarily. So Artemis sent a scorpion after him. The scorpion won by stinging Orion in the dick. Zeus put Orion in the sky as a homage. Artemis got pissed and demanded the scorpion also be placed in heavens. Zeus did so, but placed them on opposite horizons so one would never have to face the other one. Which is kind of based on a true story.”

“Wow! Really?”

“Don't get to excited. I said kind of. This dude summoned an angel and wished for the talent to hunt and provide for his family. Once he realized how good he actually was, he began boasting about it. He ended up becoming really cocky and cheated on his wife. His wife was pissed and summoned a demon to kill her husband. After hearing her story, the demon thought it would be fun to send different types of animals after him. There were animals before the scorpion that the man had defeated. The angel had heard of what had become of the man and took his gift away. The scorpion stung him in the dick for cheating on his wife. And then the demon took their first born as payment.”

“Jesus Christ! Why did you have to tell me that!? What if you want my first born as payment!? I-I can’t! I’m gay! I don’t want kids! It’s too much pressure!”

“Tweek Tweak, I, Cr’aigta'ckzir, will not take your soul or first born child as payment for services I may provide unless I explicitly say so. Nor will I require payment without saying so before hand.”

Tweek stared into the demon’s eyes. How no one noticed they were slightly glowing blue was beyond him. However, he knew Cr’aigta'ckzir was telling the truth. 

“Thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Tweek watched Cr’aigta'ckzir play with Stripe. The demon seemed to have a way with animals that Tweek couldn't help but think was cute. He thought a lot of things about Craig were cute. As he sat there watching the demon, he began to panic about his feelings for them. Craig was so nice and gentle to Tweek, he couldn't help but think he had a crush on him. Even though he looked like a 17 year old human boy, he was still a demon. Tweek just needed reminded of this. He was also incredibly curious about the demon. Society throughout the years had painted a completely different picture of angels and demons, but Cr’aigta'ckzir was different than all of that.

“What are you thinking of?” Tweek was a little caught off guard by the question. “Not reading your mind. Your facial expressions give you away.”

“M-most people just say I look like I'm about to have a mental break down.” Craig shrugged and waited for Tweek to answer his question. The boy wasn't sure he could ask without offending the demon. 

“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I think at this point you should know I am not going to take it personally. Nor am I going to just attack you or take your soul.” Craig almost sounded hurt to Tweek. 

“S-sorry.” Tweek took a deep breath. “W-what do you look like in … your other form?” Tweek felt like he needed to know. It was the only way to stop these feelings. 

“You really want to know?” Craig asked putting Stripe in it's cage. 

Tweek nodded. “Yes.”

The horns Tweek had seen earlier appeared as Craig removed his hat and set it on his desk. Tweek couldn't help but think they were beautiful. Craig followed the hat with his jacket. After removing it, a pair of black leathery wings revealed themselves. As the light hit them, Tweek noticed they, like his horns, had a blueish sheen to them. Craig began to remove his shirt. Whatever Tweek was expecting it was not a strip show.

“GAH! What are you doing!?”

Craig held the hem of the shirt just above his abs. “I'm getting undressed so I don't rip your clothes.”

“AH! Wait those are my clothes!”

“Well yeah, I don't just magic myself clothes. And I can't change forms without ripping the only set of clothes you own that I like.’ The demon managed to say this as if it was Tweek's fault he didn't have clothes ready for him.

As Craig removed his shirt, Tweek had second doubts about this. The demon gave himself a fantastic body and the boy was having a hard time convincing himself he shouldn't find the demon attractive. Craig moved onto his pants. To Tweek, time seemed to slow down. Or Craig was moving at an incredibly slow pace. The boy wasn't sure what he should do. Tweek yelled out and covered his face with a pillow. He was pretty sure he heard Craig chuckle.

“You can look.” Craig said.

Tweek peaked over the pillow at the form before him. The boy was caught off guard by the demon’s looks. The demon was a good two feet taller. He still had human like features from his head down his torso. Where his belly button should have been, started the mother of all happy trails before turning into a field of fur. His legs remind Tweek of a goat. Almost like…

“Satyrs were originally based on us.”

“Oh.” Tweek breathed. Even in this form Tweek found the demon attractive. He could make out some scars scattered across his chest and torso but that just seemed to add to the demons appeal. His fingernails seemed more like claws than nails, but Tweek noticed they were very well kept. Overall, Cr’aigta'ckzir was still incredibly attractive to Tweek. And he would have a hard time not giving in, if the demon so wished. 

“AH! I’m screwed!”

“Tweek, I am not going to harm you.” Craig's voice was unchanged by the transformation. This made it more difficult.

“I-I know! I'm screwed!” Tweek buried his face back into the pillow. 

Tweek felt the demon’s hand in his hair, his claws combing it. He looked up over the pillow into Cr’aigta'ckzir. His eyes were glowing more than normal.

“Are you okay?”

Tweek knew his face was red and there was nothing he could do about it. 

A tune reached Tweek's ears. A Melody that signaled the coming of the gnomes. Tweek dropped the pillow and began looking around. Craig obviously heard them too and turned towards the sound.

The gnomes marched into the bedroom singing their tone merrily, completely oblivious to the threat before them. Tweek felt the air in the room get heavy. 

“What are you doing here?” Craig asked. 

The gnomes stopped dead in their tracks and looked up at the demon before them. “This is our territory.” The leader stated. 

“Not anymore. I'm here and this is mine now. You will not come here any longer.”

“This is a prime spot for our business! We will not give it up so easily!”

“You know what I am?” Craig asked, getting down to the gnomes’ level.

“Yes.” The leader was scared and Tweek could tell.

“Then you know what I will do.” Craig flicked a random gnome to demonstrate his intent. The gnome flew a few feet before hitting the wall. “And you know you can not win. Leave this place and do not come back or I will make a light snack out of you.”

A random gnome threw some magic shrinking dust on the demon. Craig just smiled and flicked that gnome as well. “You know your magic is useless. Now leave before I force you out.”

“We'll be back!” The leader called out as the gnomes fled in terror. “We won't give up that easily.”

“You should.” Craig turned to Tweek. “Think you can sleep now?”

Tweek nodded slightly, keeping his eyes on the demon. 

“Do you need me to leave in order to sleep?”

Tweek thought on the question. “I-I’m not sure?”

Tweek watched as Craig shifted back into his human form. “That’s fair. I’ll just take Stripe and we will go hang out in the basement.” 

Tweek watched the naked demon, redress and grab his pet before leaving. The boy sat still gathering his thoughts. Slowly he lay down in his bed and drifted off to sleep. He couldn’t help but think about how nice it was to have Craig in his life at this moment.

***

Tweek was awoken by gentle shaking. He didn’t want to leave his dream though. He wasn’t sure what it was about but it was pleasant. The boy opened his eyes a little. Hovering over him was Craig, mere inches away from his face. Tweek yelled and sat up, almost hitting Craig with his head.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but I thought for a moment I would have to kiss you to wake you.”

Tweek had his hand over his heart to keep it in his chest. “T-THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!”

“Worked for that one person.”

Tweek just stared Craig. “Of course Snow White was real.” 

Craig shrugged his shoulders. “I figured you wanted to be up early today. I made coffee for you,” Craig said handing him a cup. “I found your thermos and filled it with coffee.”

“Are you secretly a butler?”

“I can stop if you wish.”

“No it's just…” Tweek took a sip of hi coffee. “Thank you.”

“I also asked your dad to borrow a car. He couldn't say no.”

“GAH! What did you do!?”

“Nothing. He just literally couldn't tell me no. It's magic. Anyways we have it all weekend.”

“AH! I don't have camping gear!

Craig just looked at Tweek. The boy slowly remembered that that was a demon before him. He could do as he pleased, including get him some camping gear if needed 

For Tweek, the day went a lot better than expected. The gym coach wasn't back, but that was fine by Tweek. The new one seemed nicer. Kenny kept giving him and Craig funny looks. But he talked to Craig as if they were best friends and had been a while. Tweek realized this could be possible. 

“Where is a good place to go camping?” Craig asked at lunch.

“The woods.” Kenny punched Cartman in the arm. “Ow! Kenny!”

“Stop being such a fucking toolbag,” Kenny replied as he swiped one of Cartman’s Twinkies. “Whatcha going camping for?” Kenny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Tweek turned bright red knowing what Kenny was suggesting. 

“Ha! Tweek is gay for Craig!” 

“Tweek is just gay, fucking fatass.”

“Fuck off. I'm not fat!” Cartman took a big bite of his sandwich. “Uhg! This tastes like shit too!” He complained loudly and took another bite.

“If it takes bad, why are you eating it?”

“Because, Kahl, everything tastes like shit and I'm hungry.” Cartman took another bite and gagged. “Uh, it's so gross.”

Tweek could see the slight upturn of Craig's mouth and knew he was behind it. By the grin on Kenny's face, he also knew.

“Then stop eating it!”

“I can't, you Jew! I'm hungry and everything tastes like shit!”

Stan rolled his eyes and turned to Craig. “There is a nice place my uncle takes me. I'll text Tweek the directions.”

“I’ve got some new camping equipment. You can have my old stuff,” Token offered. He turned to Jimmy and whispered something into the boys ear.

“I d-d-d-don’t think I'd want it back either.”

“GAH! We're not having sex! Craig just lived in a place where you don't see much nature!”

Tweek felt Craig's hand rest on his thigh. It comforted the young man a little. The rest of him was trying not to be worried about showing his feelings. Cartman took another bite of his food and spit it out, gagging the whole time. The table laughed at his misfortune as Kenny unwrapped his stolen Twinkie and ate it. He gave a wink to Tweek and Craig before stealing Cartman's other Twinkie and placing it in his bag.

Tweek wanted to cry in art class. Not from sadness but from an odd joy as he received his first A. The teacher praised how she could really feel Tweek's struggle to overcome conformity and bring joy into his life. To Tweek, it was still just a yellow square. Craig received his back with a pink detention slip. The demon flipped it off, then the teacher before ripping up the paper. She did nothing to stop him and carried on her way.

Craig seemed to settle down a bit when the real substitute teacher taught actual astronomy. Tweek could tell the demon wanted to correct him but refrained the whole class.

The two made it to the last class of the day. Tweek was a little nervous that, having skipped the previous day, he would have missed something important for their performance at the end of next month. He was also nervous about having to act in front of Craig. Even though he had yesterday, that was different in Tweek's mind. Yesterday was faking sick. This was going to be full blown acting.

Tweek tried to ignore Craig's presence and focus on the other lead character, Butters. Everyone was surprised to learn that Tweek Tweak and Leopold “Butters” Stotch were incredible actors. The two were the stars in every play they were forced to participate in since the 8th grade. 

More often than not, Tweek caught Craig staring at him. Not at the stage in general. Tweek could feel the blue eyes on him. This caused Tweek to fumble more than normal. 

Tweek almost rejoiced at the end of class.

“Thank God.” Tweek said as soon as they left class. 

“You're an amazing actor,” Craig stated. “If you so wished it I could …” 

Tweek didn't let him finish. “Gah! No way man! That's too much pressure! I would have to keep my fans happy! And people would control my life! I'd have nowhere to hide! No privacy! AH!”

Craig rested his hand on Tweek's should as the boy started twitchingw bit. “It's okay. I was just saying I could get someone out here, but if you don't want me to, then I won't.”

Tweek just nodded and the two made their way to the house to pack for a weekend of camping before swinging by Token’s. The boy was a little anxious about going on an impromptu trip with the demon. He wasn't necessarily scared of Craig. He was always worried about such trips. 

“I want to drive.”

“WHAT!?” Tweek was a little thrown off by the request.

“I've never driven a car before. We aren't on a major road. I want to drive. If I break it, I'll fix it.”

Tweek had a hard time arguing with that. He also had a feeling it would be pointless. The boy pulled over and switched seats with the demon. A trip that should have taken hour and hour and a half, only took fifteen minutes. Tweek was sure the dash would have permanent hand imprints and Craig's hearing would never be the same. They set up camp and enjoyed each other's company as they waited for the sun to set.

“I don’t get humans.” Craig stated.

“Humans don’t get humans.”

“That’s fair. I don’t understand why you humans take this kind of stuff for granted.”

Tweek thought about Craig’s words. He could watch the sunrise and set over the mountains everyday if he wished. It was beautiful, but he had seen it time and time again. However, he had never been to the ocean. He’d never been to the rainforest. There are many things that would excite him to see.

“Desensitized.” Tweek answered simply. “We don’t take this for advantage more like we see so much of it we forget it’s beauty until we are in a different place. Take someone who doesn’t live here and I’m sure they will have a different reaction than me.”

Craig hummed and turned his head towards the stars. Tweek noticed some were becoming visible as it slowly got darker.

“Does this mean science is wrong? That the universe isn’t that old?”

“We sure as hell didn’t create it in seven days. Science is actually Satan’s work. He figured if the credit wouldn’t be shared, then no one should get to claim credit. I guess to answer your question, it’s not wrong, because Satan made it 13.8 billion years old, but it’s not exactly right either. Just like when Christians say it’s only like 7,000 years old. It’s not wrong because that’s the way god had made it, but it’s not right either.”

“Then what is right?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not the type to care either.”

“I’ve noticed.” Tweek took a drink of his coffee. It was dark enough now that the stars could be seen. “Except you do care about somethings.”

“I do.”

“I’m sorry I summoned you too early in the year to see Scorpius.”

“It’s fine. I’m here for a good time and I’m having it. Besides, I get to see them, so it’s fine.”

Craig laid back in the grass and stared up at the night sky. Tweek couldn’t help but think of how normal this all seemed. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly relaxed. He took another sip of his coffee and looked up in time to see a streak go across the sky. He couldn’t help but make a wish. He almost felt he shouldn’t, after all last time he wanted something good to happen, he accidentally summoned a demon. Yet Cr’aigta'ckzir actually turned out to be a pretty good thing so far. Tweek closed his eyes and thought about his wish.

“It don’t have to.” Tweek jumped at Craig’s words. “You can’t think things like that without me being able to telepathically hear them.”

“GAH! Why didn’t you tell me earlier!?”

“Because I wasn’t expecting you to ever think “I wish Cr’aigta'ckzir would never leave.”” Craig sat up, eyes glowing more intensely than Tweek ever remembered. “Are you enjoying my company that much?”

Tweek shrugged and looked down at his cup. “Y-you’ve pretty much become my best friend. It would suck if you have to leave after fulfilling my original wish.”

“Which was?”

Tweek never looked up as he answered the demon. “I-I was panicking about spilling coffee on the book. I-I wished something good would happen.”

“And I was summoned” Tweek nodded and Craig let out a hum. Craig laid back down and turn again to the sky. “As I was saying, I don’t have to leave.”

“Y-you don’t?” Tweek looked from his coffee to the demon lying on the ground.

“I can stick around for a few years like this, just normal summoned, before I start to lose my powers and need to return to hell. So I’m not going anywhere for a few years. Like I said. I like it.”

Tweek’s heart dropped a little. “But you will eventually leave.”

“That all depends on you.”

“How so?”

“I can leave and you can resummon me. Though, I need to be in hell for a while to regain some power. But that way it’s nothing permanent. I’ve seen how you get making decisions. I wouldn’t want to make something more permanent.”

Tweek thought about Craig’s words. He was right, Tweek had a hard time making long term decisions. It was so much pressure and would change your life. For better or worse. You would be stuck never knowing what the other option was. Yet Tweek was curious about the more permanent option and voiced this to Craig.

“The other option is permanent. There is no backing out or changing your mind. Ever. You have no control over what happens. I would be allowed to go between hell and earth freely. I could take you with me as I pleased. Even if you killed yourself to get out of it, you would just come to my domain in hell. It’s kind of a two way street, though. You would be bound to me, and I to you. You would never really die.. And I would be feeding off your endless life while on earth. The few demon’s I’ve seen actually allow a human to complete the ritual, have done it to humans who were weak, who they could control and manipulate. Those few demons have also been taken care of.”

“L-like how the mafia takes care of people!? AH!”

“Sure. It’s a ritual rarely done because those demons and angels who allow themselves to be bound to a human in such a way, are doing it to wreck havoc in some from.”

“A-angels do it too?”

“Angel’s are self-righteous assholes. They aren’t actually good. And because I know what your next question will be. My summoning circle must be marked into your skin.”

“JESUS CHRIST! Why would anyone ever do that?”

“Well, because it beats giving up immortality to be with a human you’ve fallen in love with. Or at least, that was the original intent.”

The two looked to the heavens in silence. He didn’t want Craig to be stuck with him for all eternity. He didn’t want to be immortal either. 

“Have you ever thought about doing it?” Tweek asked.

Craig was quiet. Tweek tried not to overthink why.

His distraction came as the cold finally began to bother the boy. It was always like this. Once the sun went down, the temperature dropped fast. He didn’t remember packing a jacket. He knew his only saving grace would be to get the sleeping bag and get into the tent.

Tweek felt something warm placed on his shoulders. He looked over to see Craig had taken off the jacket, wings fully extended, and placed it on him. The jacket would fight off the spring cold for a bit, but not very long. 

“Once.” Craig answered, his hand still resting on Tweeks shoulders. 

Tweek didn’t press for an explanation. He could tell Craig didn’t want to talk about it. He let silence fall around them and continued looking into space. When the temperature dropped to the point the jacket would no longer stave off the cold, he excused himself to the tent. He knew the sleeping bag would be high quality, everything Token bought was, so hypothermia wasn’t a worry for him. And with Craig outside, he didn’t fear bears, mountain lions, or Al Gore getting to him. 

He let his mind wonder to what a future with the demon might be like. As long as no one ever found out what he was, besides Kenny who already knew, Tweek felt things would be okay. But he also knew he would live in constant fear of someone finding out. He wasn’t sure how Craig would take care of anyone who threatened him. Tweek never wanted to find out. He didn’t want to impose mind set on the demon either. His constant anxiety. His coffee addiction. His constant worry. His paranoia. 

Tweek felt uncomfortably warm. He didn’t remember falling asleep but he currently had the same feeling as being woken from REM sleep.

“...was 2,448 years ago.” Tweek realized Craig was talking and tried to feign sleep. “A man had summoned me. He…” Tweek thought Craig had caught him. He shifted slightly and turned towards Craig. The demon was in his natural form, his clothes folded neatly near the entrance to the tent, which was open along with the window to allow air flow. The demon knew he put off heat, which Tweek had never realized, and took care to make sure the boy was still comfortable. Cr’aigta'ckzir was looking at his clawed hand. “Sometimes, we get bored and lonely. You live for thousands of years. You see humans get to do as they please. Humans live in this world we created and yet they want more. I don’t care about you humans. I usually don’t accept summons unless I’m bored or I want to see my favorite things. 

“One time a human summoned me for companionship. It was a new one for me. He didn’t want power. He didn’t want riches or revenge. He was just lonely so I hung around. He would ask me about being a demon and what it was like being immortal. I should have known something was up, but I had fallen in love with him by the time my time on earth came to an end. I didn’t want to leave and he didn’t want me to either. I was prepared to give up my immortality for him. But he didn’t want me to have to do that. He said he knew how much I loved the stars and our pet rabbits. That I should live forever and see over them. So I told him of option B.

“He was on board for it. He talked the local medicine doctor into tattooing my summoning circle onto his flesh. It would be a long and painful processes, but he was prepared to do it. I knew it would take a few days for the supplies to be gathered, but for some reason he found this unacceptable. He demanded it be done immediately. It was so unlike him. I was caught off guard. It was the first and only time I ever read a human's mind on for my own purpose. I placed my hand on his head and knew I had been had. He manipulated me into loving him. I was naturally hurt and killed him. I personally tortured him for a few hundred years. I didn’t take summons for a while after that. I haven’t stayed on earth longer than two weeks.”

Tweek shuffled out of the sleeping bag and placed a hand on top of Cr’aigta'ckzir’s, the same way he had when comforting him. The demon jumped a bit, obviously not realizing Tweek was awake. He wasn’t sure if it was Craig’s story or something wrong with his mind, but Tweek took the demon’s hand and placed it on his head. He would show Cr’aigta'ckzir that he didn’t wish to harm him. The demon smiled as he shifted back into a naked human.

“I told you I wasn’t going to read your mind.”

Tweek took a deep breath. He would just have to speak it. “I-I don’t want you to be bound to me. I don’t want you to feel like you need to stick around for me either!” Craig’s hand moved down Tweek’s head and rested on his cheek. Tweek suddenly had a hard time speaking. The demon’s blue eyes stared into his own as his hand snaked to his neck. The boy had a hard time forming words. Any minute now the demon could kill him.

“I want to stick around.”

“Do I remind you of him?” Tweek blurted out.

“Other than being blonde? No. You’re just unlike any other human I’ve ever met. And we get a lot of them in hell.” Craig’s thumb rubbed Tweek’s cheek. “For starters, you’re pleasant to be around. I’m going to stick around until you’re done with me.”

Tweek still felt like he was in a sleep daze as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Craig’s lips. It was nothing more than a bush of the lips. 

“I’m not sure this is something you want to do.” Craig’s monotone voice wavered slightly.

Tweek pulled away and looked the demon in the eye. “I-I’m never sure about anything! I’m not even sure which color ink I should use on my homework! I’m not sure if I should drink light roast or dark roast! I’m not sure I’m gay! I’m definitely not sure I should be kissing you! But I want to.”

“You need sleep.”

“I’ve had more sleep since you’ve been here than I have in the past year! I don’t need sleep! GAH! If you don’t want to kiss-”

Tweek was cut off by Craig’s lips on his. 

“I don’t think I should do this,” the demon stated before kissing Tweek again. The blonde melted into the demon. Craig pulled away from Tweek. “Not yet at least.”

***

Tweek took a few deep breaths. He had done this a few times before but he was worried everytime. Craig told him it would be fine, but he couldn’t help but think otherwise. Something could go terribly wrong. There was always that chance. Kenny had offered to be there in case, but the man had died earlier this morning. Tweek had a feeling he was in hell now pestering Cr’aigta'ckzir . Calling him Craig just to annoy him.

The blonde took his damp paper towel and stuck it against the page carefully so there were no distortions in the design. He set the book carefully on the floor before placing the paper towel in the middle of his ring of candles. Craig said one fire source was enough, but he wanted to make sure.

Tweek cleared his throat and tried to remember what to say. “Come to me Cr’aigta'ckzir, lover-”

He didn’t finish his incantation before the blue beam of light shot out of the paper towel in the floor.

“It is I, Cr’aigta'ckzir, your lover,” came the nasally, even, monotone voice Tweek loved.

“GAH! T-that’s not what I was going to say!”

Craig stepped out of the summoning circle, transforming into his human form as he walked. He got onto the floor with Tweek and gave the blonde a kiss. “I told you you can say whatever you want and I’ll come crawling back.”

“I-I know… but what if…”

“I’m only answering your summons,” Craig said pulling off Tweek’s shirt. “I’ve missed you so. Kenny says he’s going to miss his shift tomorrow.”

“I-I missed you too Cr’aigta'ckzir.”

“I love when you say my name. More so when you’re moaning it.” 

Craig laid Tweek down and began kissing his chest.

“Ow!” Tweek called out and pulled the book out from beneath him.

The two froze. Tweek knew he didn’t wet the page, but the paper towel could have wet it enough to transfer the ink. Tweek looked into Craig’s eyes. 

“Is the ink permanent?” Tweek asked in barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know.” Craig answered honestly then smiled. “They say the first hundred years are the hardest.”

“AH! I CAN’T DO THIS!” Tweek sat up so quickly, he almost hit Craig in the nose. “IS IT THERE!?”

Tweek twisted around, trying to look at his back. Craig put a gentle hand on the man’s thigh and turned him slightly. Tweek had a hard time reading Craig’s face. He could usually get some sort of read off of it. This time however it was completely blank.

“Do you want to have a human wedding ceremony?” Craig asked.

“GAH! I’m sorry Craig! I-I-I didn’t even wet the page! It must have-”

Craig kissed Tweek. “There is nothing there. I was just thinking it’s a shame because spending eternity with you would be nice. But I can always give up my immortality.”

Tweek let out a yell and began pulling on his blonde locks. He was barely out of school and running the family business, and Craig was talking about spending eternity together. It was a big step, one he wasn’t sure he could do. He would like it. He liked Craig but this wasn’t something that could be reversed.

“I didn’t mean now. Just eventually. When you’re ready.”

“YES!” Tweek yelled. 

Craig pulled back a bit, observing the man. “Yes to which?”

“Yes to whatever. Run the coffee shop on earth until we die. Or forever. Or we live like this, having to spend two weeks apart every few years. It’s you and as long as it’s you, it’s a yes.”

Craig’s face remained expressionless. Tweek was worried he said the wrong thing. Even though Craig told him he never did. This was the moment Cr’aigta'ckzir would kill him. Tweek was okay with that. Spending his life with Craig was possibly too much to ask for anyways.

Craig placed his finger on the inside of Tweeks thigh. “Here.”

Tweek just stared at the demon for a moment. That spot was incredibly sensitive for Tweek and Craig knew it. He would often toy with Tweek. It was the demons favorite place to nuzzle on Tweek. What could he want there. Then it dawned on Tweek. Craig wanted his summoning circle tattooed there. He wanted Tweek to be immortal with him.

“A human lifetime isn’t enough. I need eternity.” Craig whispered as realization crossed Tweek’s face. “And I don’t want anyone else to see it.”

“O-okay.” Tweek nodded and pulled Craig back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIT SON! All three chapters in one go. Your welcome! 
> 
> Thanks for reading. I feel like I rushed chapter 3 but it's the story I wanted to tell so... WHATEVER! 
> 
> Feed back is always welcome and thanks for reading!


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